Sagan has a boutique sports hotel. What about other famous riders?

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Sagan has a boutique sports hotel. What about other famous riders?

The latest news on Peter Sagan’s retirement has the formerly brilliant and entertaining sprinter opening a cycling focused boutique hotel in his home town of Zilina, Slovakia.  

The design and decor is basically an homage to the sporting accomplishments and grandiose ego of Sagan. Themed rooms attempt to capture his career highlights including a Roubaix room, Flanders room, a Tour de France suite and even a California room from his racing in the U.S.

It’s glitz, glam andself-indulgent; it’s playful and silly in a way that only Sagan can pull off. We wouldn’t want it any other way. He’s even putting in a Sagan museum, because he can.

This got us thinking about what other famous pro cyclists might like to jump on the vanity hotel vibe and how that might be expressed thematically. Here are a few ideas and feel free to suggest others. 

The Mark Cavendish hotel

Sagan isn’t the only famous sprinter to have his own snazzy hotel for cyclists. And he’s brought in the good friend and lead-out man Mark Renshaw as director of operations. Mark will deliver you right to your room just like he used to pilot Cav to the finish line.

The San Remo room

This room gets the full Italian treatment with red walls, vintage Milan San Remo posters, red linens and bedding. It’s a beautiful room and Petra’s choice when they check in. This room goes really fast — so book ahead. 

Champs Elysees room

Cav has won on the Champs four times so that’s the design inspiration for his Paris themed room. Lots of framed photos of the Manx Missile in Paris, the Eiffel tower and Arc de Triomphe framed photos. Complimentary French croissant delivered to your room each morning and you can buy teh signature Cavendish watch by designer Richard Mille. That’s gonna cost, high rollers. 

The Epstein-Barr room

For the exhausted cyclist who really needs to relax and probably not get out of bed for a few weeks. Sumptuous bedding, a calming, neutral tone colors, spa music. Cavendish knows from personal experience how worn down he felt when he had Epstein-Barr — so he wants you to get all the quality rest you need. 

The Bernard Hinault hotel

Yes, Hinault has a boutique hotel because he’s getting too old to work his farm back in Brittany. He’s diversifying and moving into hospitality. Because Bernard is such a friendly and warm guy.

The Badger Suite

The full badger hunting lodge look with animal pelts on the wall, fur rugs and throw pillows. A selection of hunting rifles adorn the walls along with large photos of Hinault baring his fangs.

The Boxer suite

The pugnacious Hinault wouldn’t think twice about punching people blocking the road or throwing people off the Tour de France stage. Boxing ring ropes, mat floor, deck and stool, boxing gloves and speed bag in room. This is a room with a huge Do Not Disturb sign.

The Greg Lemond room

Who says Bernard doesn’t have a sense of humor? Exceedingly small space, fold-out cot, no bathroom, no window, no air-conditioner or heater. This is the super low budget option. Book at your own risk.

The Lance Armstrong hotel

You know Lance has expensive taste and always insists on the best in everything. His stylish hotel will be five star and spare no expensive for the rich and their bikes. After all, he will demand his hotel be cooler than his old Postal buddy, George Hincapie’s Hotel Domestique.  

The Yellow Room 

An ode to all seven now erased Tour de France victories. It’s a bittersweet room that visually highlights all the brash Texan’s Tour victories. The dominant color is yellow with red warning accents. Don’t try this at home! The numerous framed posters and pictures may inspire or become oppressive. A small library will showcase Armstrong’s two book, Every Second Counts and It’s Not About The Bike.

The Shack

A nod to Armstrong’s big electronics chain sponsored team. Radio Shack went out of business not long after and so did Lance. Vintage Radio Shack CD and DVD player in room. The Shack features rough pine walls and ceiling and a cycling cabin atmosphere — it’s the Shack. Framed Radio Shack jerseys and memorabilia make this a memorable stay.

The Austin Room

A Texas spin on Armstrong’s Lone star state beginnings. A mechanical bull in one corner. A beer tap with Shiner Bock, Lance’s beer of choice, ready to pour. This is a happy room filled with trophies from early wins and lots of pictures of his hard-working, uber supportive mom. Which may be creepy but hard to say …

The Pharma room

For those you really want to ride fast. Certain supplements and performance  products will be provided that may or may not be legal or medically approved. Special intravenous drips bags hung from coat hanger. Pharma is the room for cyclists who want to win at all costs. As Lance always said, pain is temporary, winning — and staying at cool places — is forever.


By |2023-08-04T15:24:30-07:00August 4th, 2023|Featured, Humor|0 Comments

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