Even more silly WorldTour team rumors.

//Even more silly WorldTour team rumors.

Even more silly WorldTour team rumors.

Jumbo-Visma and Soudal-Quickstep are merging into one soul-crushing behemoth that will destroy pro cycling. Well, maybe.

Apple CEO and cycling fan Tim Cook chit chats with Jumbo boss Richard Plugge, setting off talk of a possible Apple-Visma formation. Well, maybe.

It’s that time of year for the outlandish, the absurd, the improbable and the ridiculous. The rumors are mostly fabrications but man, look at the click bait!

What more silly rumors? Then Twisted Spoke has you covered.

According to un-named and generally fake sources, the restaurant chain Hooters is in serious discussions to become a top sponsor of team UAE Emirates. The new outfit will be called UAE Emirates Hotties, a reference to the chain’s scantily clad, breast- forward young female servers.

EF Education First is apparently considering taking funding from Elon Musk and his SpaceX company. According to team principal, Jonathan Vaughters, “there’s a natural fit based on human and machine propulsion systems. Plus, we know Elon will bump our social media account to the very top.” New longer team name: EF Education First, Space X second, East-Post third.

Not to be left off the insane rumor mill, Movistar has been contacted by movie studio Lionsgate. The Hollywood media company with take a 50% stake in the Spanish WorldTour squad. The re-named Big Movistar Lion squad would race in 2024. “We’ve done Netflix, now we’re moving on to Lionsgate,” said a source who was not a liberty to discuss this made-up project.

Bahrain-Victorious is also a team with plenty of oddball buzz happening. La Gazzetta dello Sport reports that Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championships in mixed martial arts, is considering a deal with the squad. Manager Milan Eržen was overheard talking with White and saying “We like the martial arts attitude — destroy them, submit them, force them to tap out.” According to White, several of his fighters will train riders and show them how to take-down other riders while riding in the peloton.

Novo Nordisk, a global pharmaceutical company, already sponsors a cycling team composed of riders with type 1 diabetes. Now they’re actively courting several squads including Groupama FDJ and Ineos Grenadiers to promote their Ozempic weight loss drug. Apparently, the idea of partnering with a group of super skinny athletes is a natural fit.

Finally, Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, which is controlled by Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman, is considering something even more exciting. Instead of just sponsoring a WorldTour team, they plan on buying the entire sport, lock, stock and UCI included.

That’s also a crazy rumor but in comparison to the other ones, it’s probably the most believable.






By |2023-09-28T12:37:23-07:00September 28th, 2023|Featured|0 Comments

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