Floyd fills entertainment void with new team

//Floyd fills entertainment void with new team

Floyd fills entertainment void with new team

I’m in a Floyd Landis induced haze. Maybe we all should be. Maybe ASO’s Christian Prudhomme should sit down with Landis, smoke some quality weed, and reconfigure the cycling world.

Maybe the UCI should invite Floyd to let him guess edit the UCI regulations over a dinner of Swiss fondue and shots of Jack Daniels.

Maybe WADA should send a personal jet to pick up Landis from Leadville, Colorado, and let Floyd rewrite the major of the anti-doping codes. This will be fun and informative and maybe save the sport for a shotgun spray of lead pellets. Just saying.

Yes, let’s just admit that while mortal adversary Lance Defunct Armstrong is busy trying to rehabilitate his shattered reputation with his podcast and a tour of his Aspen home, Landis has put together a Continental bike racing squad. (Aside, wow, Lance’s casa was surprising cookie cutter except for the art collection.)

Can we all just admit except for the willfully bitter that Floyd Landis is a breath of fresh toke in a tight-ass, niche sport with little sense of humor, self destructive tendencies and serial foolishness?

If superstar Peter Sagan is doing whatever he can to save the sport and widen the audience for the top down then Landis is doing his missionary work from the bottom up, creating opportunities for a new generation of young riders. Say what you will, ask yourself, who else is putting money into the sport?

Landis is a polarizing character for most people, it’s love or hate, but if you have the empathy and philosophical depth to separate past from present and future, then Landis qualifies as a savior. He took every dollar of his Destroy Lance treasure and plowed it into his Floyd’s Pro Cycling venture.

That’s a beautiful thing when you look at all the races dying in the US< the thinking calendar and the disappearance of sponsors. For the deep dive on that subject, the must-read is Neal Rogers at Cyclingtips.

Anywho, Floyd is back and nobody will every confuse Floyd with Froome. On a purely entertainment scale, Floyd is 95 and Froome is 15. Wild-man and milquetoast, bland versus bad-ass crazy. Contentious hypothetical sidebar: If Landis rode for Sky when he tested positive for testosterone in the 2006 Tour de France, his legal team would have smacked the UCI and won the case. Testosterone, salbutamol, limits, money thrown at problem.

So we say welcome, Floyd — and yes, despite your assertion, we want you in the team car, blaring all manner of pointed remarks and inflammatory hyperbole.

Here’s just a one shot quote from the mad Mennonite that illustrates why pro cycling needs Landis. This is an excerpt from a recent Landis interview on the pvcycling website:

CitSB: Floyd, you’re on record as saying with regard to young people racing that “I would never encourage kids to get into it. It’s a catastrophe. It’s awful.” Has that changed?

Landis: Oh, absolutely. I totally encourage kids to get into bike racing now. It’s amazing. It’s fantastic.

CitSB: What’s changed?

Landis: The unicorns. They are everywhere now, with rainbow farts that smell like licorice and cetewale.

CitSB: Cetewale?

Landis: Middle English for “zedoary.”

CitSB: Zedoary?

Landis: Never mind.

Nuff said. Few things make us happier than knowing the stick of dynamite known as Floyd Landis is back in the game.


2019-02-15T15:22:01-07:00February 6th, 2019|Featured|

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