Cycling: 95th Volta Catalonia 2015 / Stage 4

Van Garderen, post-guardrail.

    Tejay van Garderen flew over a guardrail yesterday, went airborne in stage three of the Volta Ciclista a Catalunya. He called it the “most horrifying moment of my career.” Which is too say it was a lot scarier than the criticism he took for letting disgraced ex-seven time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong motorpace […]

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Contador Giro-Tour double compromised by Tinkov.

    From day one of Alberto Contador’s overly ambitious announcement, the critics have said bad idea. Try to win both the Giro d’Italia and Tour de France in the same year? That’s insane, highly unlikely and Marco Pantani-impossible unless you’re working with both Dr. Ferrari and Eufemiano Fuentes and Motoman. Now there’s a new wrench […]

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Degenkolb invisible, victorious, in Milan San Remo

  John Degenkolb of Giant-Hair Regrowth did that San Remo trick. He wore the invisibility cloak, he stayed out of the wind, he didn’t crash like Gilbert, drop his chain like Cav, didn’t sit at the back like Griepel, didn’t take the early bite like Van Avermaet, didn’t wait too long like Cancellara, didn’t come […]

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Oleg Tinkov. Boss behaving badly.

  Oleg Tinkov is like that aweful boss. The blowhard, the screamer, the crass pig, the guy who likes to humiltate people. He’s a toxic reality TV show waiting to happen. He’s the kind fo boss who gets drunk at the office Christmas party and starts making inapporiate remarks about your wife or girfriend. Then […]

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Milan-San Retro.

  I like saying Poggio. I feel stylish and Italian and worldy in a bike racing way. I like saying La Primavera and La Classicisimma especially when I deliver that poetry while holding a cappuccino. I go into some kind of cycling history dream state of revelry when I say Cipressa and Via Roma. Which sound […]

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Niaro Quintana, snowman.

 The snow falls, the rain pelts, the winds howl, Nairo Quitana rolls to victory. The Colombian not only sealed overall victory in Tirreno Adriatico, but also cemented his reputation — built during the treacherous conditions of last year’s Giro d’Italia — as a hard-man stage racer. While ematiated skeletons like Sky’s Chris Froome seem […]

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Who is Mr. 90%?

  The recently released CIRC report promised worms but the worms were old and barely moving and we’d seen them years ago. Even hungry fish turned their gills up at them. Really, the Cookson-generated buzz on his expensive deep dive into doping in pro cycling turned out to be a relative snooze. Except for one […]

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Fabian Cancellara

The CIRC report: a reading plan for Fabian Cancellara.

We have a plan for Trek Captain and Classics superstar Fabian Cancellara. No, not a training plan — he’s got plenty of those, that’s all good. Our goal is to provide him with a reading plan. You see, Cancellara admitted today that he had no plans to read the landmark CIRC report into pro cycling’s […]

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Boonen out of Spring classics again.

  Pro cycling just received some terrible and depressing news. No, not the publication of the 227 page CIRC report on doping in cycling’s dark recent past. No, that was a predictable bummer but really, nothing earthshaking and fairly short on legal implications — are Bjarne Riis and Alexander Vinokourov to be removed from power? […]

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Sky clouded by Knaven accusations.

  One of the problems with a zero tolerance policy, as impressive as it sounds, it that it provides zero wiggle room if something goes wrong. When you claim the world is black and white and you are 100% white, 100% of the time, you’ve set a bar so high that failure is inevitable and […]

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Van Avermaet ozones out in Strade Bianche?

  Greg van Avermaet, Mr. Second Place, found himself with a 33.333% chance of winning Strade Bianche. One in three odds against as he raced into Sienna with Alejandro Valverde (Movistar) and Zdenek Stybar (Etixx-QuickStep). “Now is the time” Van Avermaet had stated at the start of this season, time to move from the second places […]

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Ian Stannard. Wiggo’s Froome in Paris-Roubaix?

  Imagine this bizarre but possible Bradley Wiggins nightmare: Ian Stannard becomes … wait for it … Chris Froome. A very specific version of Froome, the one from 2012, in France, July, La Toussuire, the climb where he drops his own team captain Wiggins much to the shock and displeasure of everyone at Sky. Yes, that […]

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UCI to force Vinokourov to leave planet?

    Astana, the team of reigning Tour de France winner Vincenzo Nibali and Fabio Aru, is in deep trouble. They are down to their last drink at the last chance saloon, to extend UCI president Cookson’s metaphor. The governing body of the sport has recommend to the UCI License Committee that Astana’s WorldTour status […]

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