Yesterday, Phil Liggett offered a critical assessment of the USADA investigation of Lance Armstrong on South Africa’s Ballz Radio.
In the course of the interview, the long-time race announcer parroted much of the language that Armstrong’s lawyers and public relations experts have used to defend the seven time Tour de France champion — “witch hunt,” “500 doping tests passed,” statue of limitation abuse and political “conspiracy.”
The USADA has responded to Liggett’s claims with the following statement: “It is blatantly false information from someone who has never had the courtesy to contact USADA for truthful and accurate information,” said USADA media relations manager, Annie Skinner.
However, Twisted Spoke has obtained several additional statements that were edited out of the final USADA response. Here are the lines that USADA wisely cut at the last minute:
“Phil, are you on crack? Jesus Christ, put the pipe down.”
“Clearly, the early-onset Alzheimers is hitting you pretty hard. If you can’t put two coherent sentences together, keep your damn mouth shut.”
“Next time, don’t give any interviews when you’re jet lagged from flying back from Colorado and four pints into the Guinness.”
“Don’t think we don’t have doping testimony on you, Phil — the cut rate “Super” Viagra you ordered from Mexico? The use of certain stimulants and “party” drugs so you stay awake long enough to party with the podium girls back at the hotel.”
“No evidence? Have you ever read the WADA code? After spending most of your life as a cycling journalist, are you just plain clueless?”
“Wake-up, Phil, wake-up. Don’t make Travis come over and slap you around.”
“Good to have any shred of evidence for outlandish claims, Phil. Evidence — sign of a functioning brain, higher reasoning, use of logic, facts, testimony. Blather doesn’t really qualify.”
“If you’re going to read from the Armstrong PR script, at least hold it up on camera so we can actually see the paper you’re reading from.”
“Next time you show up for the Tour of California and US Pro Cycling Challenge we’re going test you three times a day. Urine, blood, genetic profile, bowel check. It won’t be pretty, Phil. We may even confiscate your shoes, just for fun.”
Fortunately, these statements were only contained in the initial draft of the USADA response to Phil Liggett. They were expunged from the final version delivered to the media.