Riding in the rain. NOT.

Rain and wind today. No riding for me.

Rain and wind today. No riding for me.

 

I’ll just say it flat out. I don’t like riding in the rain and pretty much avoid it at all costs.

Sure, if it’s a gentle drizzle with no signs of getting worse, I might venture out. But anything over a drizzle — say a steady rain and even wind — and I’m not going out.

Put it this way, I like the concept on riding in the rain — the purity, the adventure, the hardy soul, man versus nature, devil may care, rainy Irish countryside vibe idea of it all. But the actual reality — forget that.

I admit it — I’m soft. I’m almost 60, I don’t want to crash and spend 3 months rehabbing an injury, my bones break easier, I got nothing to prove no more, I don’t care what you think. Hey, let’s make a fire, get some snack going and why not — sure, wine in the middle of the day sounds good. Red, thanks.

I should mention I have all the gear required for rain and crap weather. I’ve got a rarely worn Hincapie rain jacket made with eVent. It’s awesome, it fits me great and it stays in my closet. Sometimes I look at the rain jacket with a bit of guilt, thinking I should at least go out once in the rain but once is one time too many.

I’ve got Capo rain booties, I’ve got nice Icebreaker wool base layers, winter bib, full fingered gloves and rain cap. I’ve got three different sets of cycling eyewear with yellow and amber lens options. I can gear up big time — but I ain’t doing it.

On top of that, I’ve for a bike with disc brakes and new tires. So no excuses about poor traction or compromised stopping power on wet roads. I’ve got the rain wardrobe and a bike for the inclement conditions. But no, not doing it, ain’t riding in the rain. Haven’t you heard? — you get wet in the rain.

I will admit it’s a little pathetic, whiney and shows a total lack of spirt, adventure, joie de bike vivre. Really, if I truly loved bikes I’d be out there no matter what the conditions. Maybe I’m a bike poseur — even worse then hipsters who pretend to be bike messengers when they’re not.

And then, there’s another thing — I hate cleaning up my bike after a rain ride. The gunk, the mud, the crap all over my stunningly new Calfee carbon road bike that I carefully detail after every ride. It’s simply not worth the extra effort and time to return my glorious steed back to its original state of beauty.

I also hate peeling off the wet, clammy lycra, the sodden soaks, the road shoes I now have to dry out. Nor do I want to incur the cross look of the wife as I drag in the house, tossing wet gear everywhere, making a mess in the bathroom, commandeering the laundry room to start washing up all the soggy, filthy garments. That goes double now that we’ve moved from house to apartment — there’s no garage to dump all the crap or a handy hose to clean the bike.

So you see, for all my sunny day bravado on the bike, I just can’t bring myself to ride in the rain. I’m lazy, fearful, unwilling to deal with the hassles.

There is really only one hope but sadly funds are not available after I broke the bank with the Calfee. I need a rain bike. One I don’t need to worry about or clean up or obsess over in any way. One that stays dirty and is always ready to go.

Maybe then I’d ride in the rain … but then again, yeah, no.

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