Lance Armstrong to copy Seal’s eye scars?

Watch out Alberto. Lance looks scary.

Is Lance Armstrong the Seal of the peloton?

In stage five just outside Visalia, the seven-time Tour de France champion sustained a significant cut that goes from the bottom of his left eyelid to his nose. His attorney Bill Stapleton said he may require a second visit to the surgeon.

However, other sources report that Armstrong thinks the nasty gash looks pretty cool and bad-ass and reminds him of the scars on superstar R&B singer Seal’s face. “He loves Seal even more than the Wallflowers and part of Seal’s name means “God is victorious” so he’s a winner, too,” said the source who preferred to remain unknown to Livestrong lawyers.

Will Armstrong be going back into surgery for further repairs on the gash or will he ask for them to duplicate the scar below his right eye? With the Tour de France six weeks away, is this another strategy to destabilize the heavily favored Alberto Contador?

“He wants to scare Alberto, really freak him out,” said the still unnamed source. “He knows he needs every advantage he can get and Alberto is squeamish about blood and scars.”

Close friend and Radio Shack team manager Johan Bruyneel discounted all the loose talk. “Lance has a beautiful singing voice. But he is more suited to alt country than R&B. He has no plans to imitate Seal,” said Bruyneel.

Watch out Alberto, the singing Texas scarface is headed your way.

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  • Jorge

    >> said the source who preferred to remain

    >> unknown to Livestrong lawyers.

    This one was great!!!

    • Jorge, glad you found it amusing. I thought that was one of the best for comedy in a while but some folks just don't like Lance jokes, mainly the Lance fans.