Kittel passes lie detector. Who’s next?
Marcel Kittel of Argos-Shimano passed his doping lie-detector test with flying colors. We’re impressed with his strong anti-doping stance and willingness to do whatever it takes to prove he rides clean.
Now, let’s line up an exciting series of lie detector tests for other pros, former pros and cycling officials.
Lance Armstrong, if you knew you could shoot USADA CEO Travis Tygart and burn Floyd Landis alive without anyone ever knowing you did it, would you? Yes or no?
Mark Renshaw, if you had it to do all over again would you still leave Cav to try your unsuccessful attempt at being a sprinter? Yes or no?
UCI President McQuaid, is your Malaysian federation rule change gambit just a desperate attempt to keep alive your re-election hopes? Yes or no?
Former Sky DS Sea Yates, were you a victim of Sky’s zero tolerance policy? Yes or no?
Alexander Vinokourov and Viatcheslav Ekimov, don’t you feel the slightest embarrassment signing the paperwork for Astana and Katusha to join the Movement for Credible Cycling? Yes or no?
Cadel Evans, riding the Giro as your Tour de France preparation is a terrible idea, yes or no?
Peter Sagan, when there was outrage that you’d pinched a podium girl’s butt, weren’t you really thinking hey what’s the big deal, she’s a hot podium girl? Yes or no?
Andy Schleck, when your dad said you should quit this unforgiving and stressful life as a pro cyclist, didn’t you really think, yup, dad’s right? Yes or no?
And finally, back to Lance, do you wish you’d never taken gotten anywhere near Oprah Winfrey and her TV show camera? Yes or no?
Now, who is lying and who is telling the truth?