Cummings tops Valverde in Mallorca.
It’s the “Home Wrecka” from MTN-Qhubeka.
Steve Cummings won stage two of the Mallorca Challenge beating former doper and scofflaw Alejandro Valverde on the final climb up Mirador d’Es Colomer.
That had to feel very good — sort of like beating Vino back in the day. “I’m really happy with today’s victory,” said Cummings. “I knew I had done a lot of good work over the winter so I’d like to thank the team for the amazing work they did and chance they gave me to focus on today’s race.”
Yeah, dropping Valverde is sweet indeed. Here are some fun things Cummings could have said to the Green Bullet as he left the Spaniard down the hill:
“Hey, Alejandro, your old Operacion Puerto buddy Jesus Marzano says hello. He still has some leftover testosterone patches if you need them later.”
Look at me, baby. I feel like Alberto Contador about to bust your sorry ass.”
“Movistar? Really, you don’t look like a Movistar to me. Ever taken any acting classes?”
“I like Alex Dowsett even though he’s on your Movistar team. We’re mates. He’s so happy I’m smacking you around.”
“What kind of hair re-growth products are you using these days? Or is that one of those weird scalp graft things? Can you take your helmet off? I wanna see if there are any scars.”
“You know nobody likes you outside of Spain. Seriously. Nobody.”
“Dawg, it’s such a PITI, you’re not going win today.”