Creatine boosts performance 13%. Pass the supplement bucket.

What half serious weekend warrior cyclist wouldn’t jump at a 13% legal boost in performance?

A small sample study on the effects of creatine on the cycling performance of college age cyclists recorded that nice UCI approved 13% increase in fatigue threshold. Watts went up, power went up, and the placebo group was left wondering why they got scientifically kicked in the ass. All this without adding more than a pound and turning into one of those muscle-bound atrocities you see on the cover of body building magazines.

Twisted Spoke, being from the alternative medicine headquarters of Northern California, is generally against all medicines and supplements. Nothing strikes us as more pathetic that a Masters Racers busted for doping because he wanted to win his old man age group in a weekend race in Chattanooga. Dope when you’re in your 20’s and 30’s for god-sakes — have you no dignity?

Americans in general gobble prescription meds like it’s candy and the answer to every little ache, pain, sign of aging, mental slip and mood change comes from a pharmaceutical company. Retired people are often volunteer guinea pigs for a bizarre cocktails of meds that create far more medical complications than good. You know there’s a dangerous problem when the listed side effects outnumber the good ones by a factor of 50. Why is grandma a raving freak lunatic who is either weeping uncontrollably or punching out her caretakers? Well, multiply 10 complications by the number of meds in her pill caddy. But we digress, grandma.

I'm not muscle bound. I'm super fast.

A 13% bump for downing 20 gram of Creatine per day for five weeks caught my eye. Why? Because despite being on the holistic, herbal side of things, TS is also overweight, vain, lazy, competitive and, at age 53. watching my limited cycling powers fade. We desperately want to beat our 40 year old buddy up the big climb despite his superior condition, lower alcohol intake and better power to weight ratio.

Study author Ashley Walter, M.S. cautions us that due to the small size of the test group the results are not great enough to be considered┬áscientifically significant. Uhh, Ashley, ask any aging group of bike race guys if 13% better sounds good and they will give you a resounding “[email protected] yeah.” Screw the placebo, full speed ahead.

Personally, TS is biking over ┬áto the athletic supplement shoppe this afternoon. Damn my liver and kidneys. Creatine here I come and by summer I will be flying up that hill 13% faster and giving my struggling 40 year old pal the same look Armstrong once gave Ullrich — “what, is that all you got buddy?”

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  • ridesfurbeer

    According to the article you cited, I have a electromyographic fatigue threshold? I didn't know that, thanks for the info – I feel 13% better now!

  • bike messenger

    add in some beta-alanine, also at the supplement shop, and you'll really be leaving the 40 year old behind

    • Thanks for the tip. This summer is gonna be exciting when I'm wired up. I may even call my bud Joe Papp for a few suggestions. This is the summer I wreak vengence on the road. Beware. Matt

  • Ha, I'm at 14% but that's because I swore off wine and beer for the entire month of January. Ahh, penance. Matt

  • Machaca

    This 40 year old buddy is on to you . . . Don't think I won't start blood doping just to keep one step ahead.

    • Paul, I have access to 'products" that you don't because, you know, I'm an insider. Matt