Cav lets it fly in San Luis.
When asked by a journalist if he could be 100% sure that his rivals weren’t doping, sprinter Mark Cavendish replied with this provocative gem: “Are you 100% sure that one of your colleagues isn’t f**king your wife?”
It seems to us that the less Cavendish wins his sprints, the more inflammatory his public statements. It’s as if the fast twitch fibers in his legs have migrated to his brain. He gets a question and before he can censor himself, his mouth races to another incendiary remark. This is priceless stuff, chapeau and bravo.
The Manxman got himself beat in the Tour de San Luis not once but twice by Colombian sprinter Fernando Gaviria. That loosened up his tongue quite effectively and brought us the fabulous “f**king your wife” query.
But that was San Luis, season opener, not a big stage, far from the bright lights of the classics and Grand Tours. We suspect that Cavendish may just be warming up for bigger and even more explosive utterances.
Suppose for example that once again German sprinter Marcel Kittle stomps him three or four times in the Tour de France? Can you possibly imagine what Cavendish might say in those circumstances? Aren’t you already on the edge of your seat thinking about those press conferences?
Cavendish may make references to hardcore pornography, transvestites, sex slaves, wife swapping, bondage and gang bangs. There’s really no telling what outrageous goodies we have in store as journalists prod him with sharp questions. The man is a font of bizarre analogies, non-sequiturs and spontaneous combustion.
Obviously, Cav is very comfortable and supported at his Etixx-Quick-Step and so he feels free to let fly, speak extemporaneously, shoot the breeze, f**k with people’s heads. Brings those mics over here guys — we have an explosive device.
It’s not like he’s still back with those uptight, marginal personality guys at Sky. Have to wonder what Sky sports psychologist Dr Steve Peters would think of Cav and his wildly out of control “inner chimp.” Chimp running around causing havoc, throwing banana peels, screeching out sound bites.
It’s like Cav has come down with a bad case of Bradley Wiggins, the loose cannon at Sky who used to call the press “wankers” and “bone-idlers.” Thank God Wiggo is going back to the track and Sky doesn’t have to do media repair work.
Mark Cavendish may possibly be slowing down but in terms of pure entertainment, he is speeding up.