Boonen shops for Cancellara’s angel charm. A market overview.

Is this the way to beat Cancellara?

Since losing Paris-Roubaix and the Tour of Flanders to Saxo Bank’s Fabian Cancellara and his angel good luck charm, Tom Boonen has been search for some angels of his own. Twisted Spoke did a quick shopping trip for the Belgian.

Angel power.

The Guardian angel from the California Astrology just might to the trick. It claims the Angel will relay your prayers directly to God. Prayers like, “please oh Lord, make me go faster, don’t let me lose his wheel.” You know, heavy religious stuff straight from the old testament.

Then there’s the Guardian Angel from the Luck Factory — now that’s a company with a promising name, Tom. This angel goes for only six bucks — a steal if it delivers a win against the Swiss champion.

We also checked out the angel offerings at Church Supply Hardware — does God really have “hardware?” — and they are loaded with top quality, super lucky, guaranteed to help you win races, medallions and medals.

Tom's Wings?

Now if Tom Boonen really wants to throw some money at the Angel thing, we can nab the 18 karat gold Angel pendant with diamond granulation from Temple Saint Clair. That’s got to possess more power than that cheesy kid’s trinket Cancellara has in his jersey pocket.

The Novica web site has a gaggle of angels including the sterling silver “Thoughtful Angel” pendant. You bet Tom’s thoughtful as Hell right now, as in “how am I gonna beat this Spartacus dude?” ¬†It’s a bone pendant with an antique effect and ¬†surrounded with sterling silver. A nice touch with a Quick Step pro kit.

There’s also the Six Lucky wishes pendant. That might be the perfect solution. Six wishes would be good for a win at Flanders, Paris-Roubaix, Amstel Gold, two Tour de France stages and a World Championship Road Race win. A pretty darn good deal considering the $99.99 price tag.

Quick Step guardian.

But maybe Tornado Tom needs to kick it up a notch, get a little nasty, bare the fangs. Vampire designer Avelina de Moray has a Hell’s Angels pendant that’s a sure fire Cancellara killer.

As we always say in the world of advertising and marketing, why not collect the whole set? If you can’t out-ride fabulous Fabian, then out-angel the man.

The key is to get God on your side, work the heavenly powers — and next time bring Heaven to bear on the Hell of the North.

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  • No angel can save Boonen so far. He clearly lacks the tactics & respect that come from respectable winners, or losers for that matter.

    Pardon my Boonen-rant here but does he ever just admit he got beat? After Roubaix, the only thing I heard from Tomke was how Cancellara has "jet-rockets attached to his arse"…not exactly respectful "praise" and almost an insinuation he uses something un-natural to "boost" his power.

    The rest of the intvw he talks about how Cancellara "sneaked" away from the group while Boonen recovered from his many failed attempts at dropping him.

    It's not "sneaking" Boonen, it's called "attacking at the right time".

    Then he blames the chase group for not letting him know Cancellara was attacking – did I miss it or were they all wearing Quik-Step jerseys?

    ALSO – after Flanders he blamed everything but the fact that he got dropped on the last mur, which is what everyone else saw. Then he proceeded to talk about how Paris-Roubaix would be different.

    Well, it WAS different Tom: You didn't come in 2nd. Heck, you didn't even get a podium spot for that matter.

    For as much talent & riding strength he has, it sure'd be nice if he manned up in other aspects of his career.

    • Jon, I think Boonen spoke in the heat of the moment with alot o that stuff but also he's not used to coming in second or losing out on a podium in a big race. Right now, he's at a loss and that comes out as anger. He's just never been in that position before — being dominated by another rider. He'll raise his game, I think. But yeah, he could have been more gracious about Fabian's win. Still, you stick a mic in front of a guy who just rode a brutal 260k and he's not always going to think straight.

  • That’s a good point, his scheduled interviews sound much different than th “post-game”. Still, he’s been in the game long enough to know what to do w/ a mic in his face.

  • RidgeRider

    The only way Boonen was going to win that race was to out ride Fabian, or for Fabian to crash or have a mechanical. They kept saying that if he stayed with Fabian he would out sprint him at the end but I think Fabian was in such good form he would have eventually rode him off his wheel as he did in Flanders. Boonen shouldn't feel bad, he had no help from the others and Fabian is the strongest right now.

    • Yup, Fabian is on another level, arse rocket or not.