New Saxo Bank jersey. Beware self-inflicted eagle attacks.

The angry eagle. Quick, cross your legs.

Bjarne Riis says the Eagle is back on the jersey. Somewhere Alfred Hitchock is laughing.

Should have left the bird in the nest, on some craggy rock outcropping way up in Møllehøj, Denmark.

There have been several new jerseys hitting the pro peloton, everything from retro ugly (HTC-Columbia) to cool and bold (Movistar) to the new argyle diamond-free design of Garmin-Cervelo — a truly sad loss.

Mistakes have been made and Bjarne Riis is now one of the culprits. The instant we saw the new Saxo Bank jersey, Twisted Spoke shuddered.

The bird placement and its menacing beak make it appear that the eagle had just flown into the riders’ bib shorts, eaten his penis and is now about to take off.

That’s painfully bad design and sure to elicit jokes for the rest of the teams. “Hey, Richie, what’s that eagle doing down your shorts?” The jersey also has that unfortunate kangaroo effect: there’s an angry bird taking up residence in the shorts.

Somewhere in the rough sketch stage, someone should have pointed out the obvious positioning flaw. Nobody wants an animal pecking at their pecker while they’re trying to win a bike race.

Should El Pistolero ride for the team this year, his first shot will be to kill the eagle nesting in his crotch.

We have plenty of respect for Bjarne Riis as a team manager, his results speak for themselves. But this eagle jersey was a major faux pas.

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  • RideLikeaGirl1

    When I saw this jersey in your blog post, I actually thought you photo-shopped the Eagle! Oh my …

    • http://www.atwistedspoke.com TwistedSpoke

      Nope, it's the real deal. Matt

  • Fergus

    It could come handy in Australia though to frighten off angry magpies in spring time! Come to think of it, the idea of a eagle down the dacks would probably frighten off most things.

    • http://www.atwistedspoke.com TwistedSpoke

      It really depends on if it's a trained eagle or not and Riis isn't saying either way. A wild eagle would seem to invite attacks even on the eagle's own team but a trained eagle would be a deadly weapon when unleashed on specific targets. Let's keep on eye on this story, Fergus.