Cavendish, bloody molars and the Italian dentist mafia.

The Manx Molar.

This is what happens when sprinters mouth off.

HTC-Columbia’s Mark Cavendish should have taken a closer look at the risk assessment before he chose a dentist to remove his wisdom tooth.

Selecting an orthodontic specialist with a Italian last name who just happens to be a distant relative to doped rider Riccardo Ricco is just not good dental work. After Cavendish called Ricco a “parasite” Italian passions were inflamed and reprisals were inevitable. Unfortunately they took place in the Manxman’s open mouth.

What could have been a routine extraction turned into an excruciating nightmare for the world’s fastest sprinter. “Once I had a wisdom tooth out without anesthetic, this was more painful. The infection killed the nerve on one tooth and another had to be taken out. There was one point where to swab it they had to cut it with a knife. The truth is that I wouldn’t wish the pain I felt on anybody,” say a more toothless Cavendish.

Who do you think suggested skipping the anesthetic — the Italian dentist. This was payback in the classic Italian way, an eye for an eye, a parasite for a molar or two. Obviously Cavendish has never seen Godfather I thought III or he would have taken his choppers else where. Wisdom teeth? What were you thinking, Cav?

Mark, next time do not gloss over this stuff. Go to dentists.com and do some background checking. The guy you picked was from Formigine — the same hometown as Riccardo Ricco. Parasite Central. Blood is thicker than water and dental rinse. This was old school vengeance and we all know revenge is a dish best served with some surgical pliers. You’re lucky he didn’t rip all the teeth out. Imagine the new nicknames: the toothless terror, the molar-less Manx missle, Gummy Bear.

“It’s over now and my condition’s improving fast but it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, it hurt so much I was crying like a baby,” Cavendish told the Independent. Painful lesson learned, Mark. Do not mess with the Italians. No more loose talk about Ricco or any other dope latin dope fiends. And don’t’ think Riccardo’s girlfriend Vania will go any easier on you. She’s in no mood for games and will cut you bad.

So keep your mouth shut. Work out some fancy new finish-line victory gimmicks and win some sprints. And stay away from Italian dentists.

Reader note: for the next month Twisted Spoke will be under construction. Expect short term glitches and hiccups. We’re switching to a new site host, changing the web address to www.atwistedspoke.com and completely redesigning the blog for the exciting changes to come — podcasts, video, assorted madness. Be patient — because quite frankly, it is gonna rock.

Twitter Digg Delicious Stumbleupon Technorati Facebook Email
  • Joker

    Bloody funny you whacked out cycling freak.