Andy Schleck crashes while riding off into retirement.

//Andy Schleck crashes while riding off into retirement.

Andy Schleck crashes while riding off into retirement.


ANdy. Crash, party.

After announcing his retirement to the assorted media gathered at the Casino 20o0 hotel in Mondorf-les-Bains, Luxembourg, Andy Schleck rode off down the street and promptly crashed, dislocating his right shoulder and fracturing his right wrist.

A Trek media vehicle reached their former star a few moments later on Rue Flammang, finding Schleck doubled over on the ground — a familiar experience for Schleck who has injured himself so many times in the last few years that he was finally forced to retire.

According to bystanders on the side of the road, Schleck laid in the ground for several minutes, reporting shouting out “I’m so @%!#! tired of this.” He refused any medical attention but seemed confused that his brother was not riding alongside him. His elder brother Frank, recently signed for another two years at Trek Factory Racing, did not attend the retirement announcement.

Despite being in significant pain, the default winner of the 2010 Tour de France got to his feet and walked across the street and entered a bar called La Dernière Chute and ordered a pitcher of margaritas. Shortly there after, he was joined by his friend and former teammate Stuart O’Grady and more drinks were ordered.

Several patrons at the bar claim that O’Grady then yanked Schleck’s right shoulder back into the socket. The successful operation was greeted with cheers and O’Grady proposed another round on the house.

After another hour Schleck’s former Saxo Bank team manager Bjarne Riis drooped in with several bottles of fine Danish vodka and the karaoke machine was put into action. The bald Riis and Schleck belted out a stirring rendition of funkster Rick James’ hit Super Freak and then offered up an enthusiastic cover of Macklemore’s Thrift Shop.

The Schleck party swelled to a least 150 people as news spread that Schleck was throwing himself an impromptu retirement party. A 11Pm, singer and impressionist Sophie Triste arrived to serenade the crowd with her covers of Edith Piaf that she will perform this Sunday on stage at Casino 2000. Triste sang Je Ne Regrette Rien for Schleck who broke into tears hearing this tale of sadness and resilience.





By |2019-02-03T15:53:18-08:00October 9th, 2014|Uncategorized|0 Comments

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