Italian Davide Rebellin will been stripped of his Olympic silver medal by the International Olympic Committee (IOC). The IOC stated that Rebellin has disqualified for doing that bad, bad thing with the pointy syringe and the illegal rocket fuel.
Meanwhile Chinese Olympic officials are scrambling to erase Rebellin from all medal ceremony shots taken in Beijing. “It is a monumental task, there are hundreds of thousands of images,” said spokesman Kang Ping Heng.
Rebellin’s image will be removed from all podium photographs. “Already we are training new workers in the basics of Photoshop imagine editing. We have had to shift many from our internet surveillance group. Fortunately, we are a dictatorship — we’re good at this stuff,” said Heng.
Chinese officials hope to have Rebellin completely erased in the next two weeks. “Shame on him for cheating. It is worse than lying about under-age gymnasts and forging new birth certificates. Wait, you cannot write that down,” said a flustered Heng.