“Dre creep to the mic like a phantom.” Snoop Dog from the Chronic.
While Bjarne Riis and his Saxo Bank sponsors have been vocal in their continued support of superstar Alberto contador despite his guilty verdict from the Court for Arbitration in Sports, perhaps nobody has been as vocal as American rapper and producer Dr. Dre.
“That’s my boy, the Pistolero mutha%$#&,” said Dre. “Some shit ass suits in Switzerland ain’t shutting down my man Alberto. Them lawyers don’t know nuthin’ ’bout drugs like I do. My man is clean and white as stolen Nikes.”
Contador, now serving a six-month retroactive 2 year suspension for an infinitesimal amount of clenbuterol detected by a German anti-doping lab that no other lab in the universe could detect, was pleased by the support from Dre.
“Doctor Dre and also Snoop Dog have emailed me their full support. It is gratifying to know that my fans around the world are behind me. But a sponsor like Dr. Dre is a true friend. Perhaps in the next month I can visit Dre, I would one to share my paella recipe with him. Pinto is a sister city with Compton.”
For the last year the Spaniard has been wearing the high price signature Beats headphones popular with white teen boys trying to act ghetto. His brother Fran signed a deal with Dre in August 2010 after Contador’s third Tour de France win in 2010 — the same victory that has now been given to runner-up ANdy Schleck.
“That shit stinks,” said Dre from a recording studio in West Hollywood where he was laying down tracks for his new release entitled Crack Ass Hos Do Oragami. “Andy Schleck makes me sick with that pale Boy Scout bullshit. Ohh, he likes to party? My ass. Alberto got more rhythm than that dude ever gonna have.”
Like financial sponsor Saxo Bank, Dre Dre has pledged his full support for the embattled Contador despite the loss of the Tour title and several other high profile wins. “I could give a f%#&@ about the UCI points, know what I’m saying? My boy gonna come back in the Vuelta and cap those mutha&#@%s. Matter of fact, I like that he’s down with drugs. That’s my peeps.”
Dre reserved much of his criticism for UCI president Patruck McQuaid. “That sad ass Irishman makes me laugh. I would cap him just for for general principles. He’s all puffy and red in the face. My bitch could take him out.”
Andy Shcleck refused comment of the diss from Dre Dre but a spokesman for the RadioSHack-Nissan Trek rider said his already has a really good sponsorship deal with sennheiser headphones.