Doctors confirm Rasmussen has “hole in head.”

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Doctors confirm Rasmussen has “hole in head.”

Hole explanation?

This explains everything.

After Michael Rasmussen’s increasingly bizarre statements and erratic behavior, the source of all this madness has been located: the Dane has a hole in his head.

Cranial specialists discovered an inch diameter hole on the right side of Rasmussen’s temple during a routine examination. Several pro riders and journalists had noticed the hole in previous weeks and said it was getting progressively larger.

After ranting and making wild accusations about death and murder and possible suicide, there now seems to be a logical medical explanation. “Michael has a hole, a hole in his head, we are looking into it,” said Rasmussen’s lawyer, Karoly Nemeth.

A former teammate of Rasmussen’s claimed the hole was part of the Dane’s crazy attempt to make himself even lighter and improve his climbing. “He had a drill and I saw blood on the bit, he is mentally unstable,” said the rider who requested anonimity.

Rasmussen’s new team, Miche Cycling, was not apprised of the skull cavity. Owner Marco Tozzi is taking a wait-and-see approach to the hole. “It doesn’t affect his riding — there is nothing oozing out,” said Tozzi. “The medical staff is making him a plug.”

For his part, Rasmussen refuses to acknowledge the hole. “People are seeing things, I would know, it’s my head. I’m sick of these devils and murders and UCI gangsters,” said the Dane. “I am the only sane man in cycling.”

By |2019-02-03T16:29:44-08:00March 30th, 2010|Doping, Humor|1 Comment

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  1. […] tried to curtail his generally bizarre, vindictive and angry comments about killing people and suicide. He’a also stopped his “I’ve been black-balled […]

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