Cavendish to ride Tour of California. No Hollywood in Giro.

Cav in Cali.

It’s where he belongs. The man is brash and fast and dashing and charismatic and photogenic. The Giro is cool and history is great but Hollywood in not located in Milan.

Team honcho Bob Stapleton made the obvious official when he announced his star sprinter will skip the Giro in favor of the Tour of California which runs from May 16th to the 23rd.

Somewhere, fellow HTC-Columbia sprinter Andre Griepel is popping a bottle of champagne — he’s got the Giro to himself after all.

“We believe Mark will be very strong at the Tour de France and the balance of the season. He will join the team in California and we are very optimistic about his chances for success there,” said Stapleton.

Chances? Yeah sure, he’s got a meeting lined up with director Francis Ford Coppola and another in San Francisco with Star Wars king George Lucas. Just kicking around some basic ideas.

Coppola is thinking about a remake of Apocalypse Now with Cavendish in the lead role, going deep into the jungle to deal with krawzy Colonel Kurtz, played this time by Team Sky’s bald badass David Brailsford.

Meanwhile Lucas is hot on the idea of adding the Manxman as a fighter pilot in the rebel alliance against the Dark Forces. Not much is sketched out except a battle scene where Cavendish throws a bike at the dark lord. But hey, Hollywood deals have been done with less story than that.

Apparently Cavendish turned down Martin Scorsese’s offer to cast him in yet another dirty cop movie with Leo diCaprio. Mark just doesn’t go for that whole dark gritty New Your City vibe. Plus he doesn’t like Leo and really, who does — the guy looks like a ferret.

No, Cavendish is jetting to California to bask in the sunshine, check out the babes and win a few sprints. Then he might knock off a few days early and take a drive down the coast — maybe hook up with Quick Step’s Tom Boonen for some beach camping. Boonen already has his itinerary pretty much dialed in.

Cavendish in Cali. Very cool. Twisted Spoke will be there and we’ll scan his autograph for you.