Johan Bruyneel and Andy Schleck have agreed to a compromise on Kim Andersen’s participation at this year’s Tour de France. While Andersen will not be guiding the team from the RadioShack Nissan-Trek car, Andy Schleck will have a Kim by his side.
The famous female rapper Lil’ Kim will ride in the car and help direct Andy to what he hopes will be victory in the 2012 Tour. Both Bruyneel and Schleck appear to have resolved their differences and are thrilled with the choice of Lil’ Kim.
“The goal has always been yellow in Paris and Lil’ Kim will bring us her experience as a performer at the highest level,” said Bruyneel. “She has three platinum albums and knows what it takes to reach the top step. She was not originally my top choice but after hearing her ideas, I came away impressed.”
While a significant departure from his long-time mentor Kim Andersen, Schleck was also pleased with the addition of Lil’ Kim. “She is very confident she can make a difference and we have already discussed some new methods,” said Schleck. “You have to try new things, different things, and anyway, Frank and I both enjoy her rap song “No Time” with Puff Daddy.”
Lil’ Kim grew up on the streets and she promises to bring a tough, hardcore attitude to the RadioShack camp. “I don’t ride a bike but my track record is all the proof they needed. With songs like Get Money and Player’s Anthem, they know I take care of my business,” said Kim. “I will work his butt off on that bike and ain’t nobody with whack-ass names like Cadel and Bradley gonna beat my man Andy.”
The relationship between Bruyneel and Andy Schleck was strained this week as they argued in public about Kim Andersen and his value to the squad. A comprise seemed impossible but it was brokered by none other than seven time tour winner Lance Armstrong.
“I had called Lance in Austin, to talk about the issue with Kim,” said Bruyneel. “I wanted his opinion and almost as a joke, he suggested Lil’ Kim instead of Kim. It was a silly play on names but then we both realized it was a stoke of genius.”
Kim has been busy with the promotion of her latest song song “Keys To The City”, a collaboration with Young Jeezy, but she plans to fly to Europe to begin working closely with Schleck in the final eight weeks of his build-up for the Tour.
“He says he’s behind schedule but I’m gonna get him ahead, make no mistake,” said Lil’ Kim. “How hard is riding a bike up a few mountains? No, it ain’t physical, it’s the head I’m talking ’bout. I’m gonna get that boy hot for yellow like it was a juicy stripper he wants to bang.”
Kim refused to reveal the details of her training plans for Shleck but did give some insight into her strategy. “I thank God for my time with Notorious B.I.G. He taught me the ropes. Bigge always said you had to be a killa. Don’t be expecting my Andy to be taking shit from nobody.”