There’s a muppet in your corner, Contador. Bert has Alberto’s back.
The popular Sesame Street muppet was outspoken in his support for the Spanish cyclist, currently embroiled in an ugly and highly debated doping violation.
“We’re all stuffed with something,” said Bert. “I don’t think Alberto’s stuffing is bad,” said the immensely popular kid’s TV show character. While having no working knowledge of performance enhancing drugs, Bert promised to use the offending doping agent Clenbuterol in the Alphabet Letter segment of the show.
“Alberto is Spanish and lots of friends who like me speak Spanish, we say hola, buenos dias, no doping here, senor,” said Bert. The star of the movie Muppets Take Manhattan was unfamiliar with the scientific particulars or the damaging innuendo and accusations of German investigators or L’Equipe.
“What is a plasticizer? Cars, bikes, toys, they all have shiny plastic in them,” said Bert, discounting the illegal blood transfusion theory. “I like Pinto, it’s a nice sound, I like pinto beans, I like Alberto because his name sounds like mine,” Bert insisted, offering his own defense of the famous Spanish stage racer.
While generally confused about the conflicting scientific theories, Bert did say the Cookie Monster could have been responsible but gave no addition evidence to support his assertion. Bert said UCI president Patrick McQuaid is “not a nice man and talks too much.”
“Condor, that’s a bird, birds fly high in the sky and they’re pretty,” said Bert. “Why would a condor take something bad to ride a bike faster? That’s silly.”