A modest bold proposal for Saxo Bank’s Bjarne Riis.

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A modest bold proposal for Saxo Bank’s Bjarne Riis.

Riis: Get Landis a Saxo jersey!

How bold is Bjarne Riis?

We ask because that’s what this is going to take: a bold, unconventional, creative and devil-may-care attitude.

Riis is riding through a dark time and the traditional solutions are no longer applicable. The Brother Schleck swiped his entire team and left him with crumbs. Cancellara, Fuglsang, Voigt and the two skinny Luxem-burglers are gone.

Then his best and only hope for a Phoenix-like resurrection of Saxo Bank is in deep trouble and possibly headed for a suspension. Riis is desperately praying that the UCI won’t sanction Alberto Contador for traces of clenbuterol but right now nobody knows what’s going to happen — and that includes the UCI.

Riis is sitting at home in Denmark, winter coming on fast, temperatures plummeting and his spirits near zero. These are dark, depressing days and the firewood is running low.

There are even rumors that Riis has lost his mind, driving the Saxo team bus deep into the snowy Løvenholm forest and camping inside, subsisting on canned food and straight vodka while reading Krakauer’s Into The Wild. But we digress…

Riis is a man known for his unconventional thinking, his training innovations, Danish commando-style team bonding exercises and insistence on technical advances in equipment. This is no time for the wily Dane to play safe or sit back and hope Alberto’s adverse analytic finding just goes away.

The fact is, Contador may indeed be suspended and when he returns, may not be ready to perform at the highest level in a grand tour. Riis knows just how dire the circumstances are because he’s even considered signing the emaciated, disgraced and mentally unstable Michael Rasmussen. Given that every other top GC rider was signed up for 2011 months ago, it would appear that the crazy Rasmussen was the only option.

We said bold and we mean bold. There’s one rider out there that’s completely off the radar, a proven top GC rider, a man with a 100 things to prove to the world. He’s fresh, insanely motivated, desperate for cash and totally available right this second.

Bjarne Riis, it’s time to sign Floyd Landis.

That’s right, the mad Mennonite, the Man WHo Shot Lance Armstrong, the scourge of American cycling. Too bold and unconventional, you say? If you’re Bjarne Riis, consider the alternative should Contador get an enforced vacation. “Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present Saxo Bank 2011: Nick Nuyens and three Spanish domestics.”

Landis has his new hip, a clear conscience, an empty bank account and a burning desire to show the world he could still be great. He’s still got something in the tank. He’s at home in Idlyywild reading “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” by Dr. Seuss. That’s right, he’s going to Saxo Bank, baby.

Bjarne, be bold.

By |2019-02-03T16:23:42-08:00October 20th, 2010|Doping, Saxo Bank|16 Comments

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  1. Floyd4President October 20, 2010 at 1:35 am - Reply

    Earth shattering stuff guys. Chapeau! (Btw, I think it be would "Into the Wild")

  2. Mike Pardue October 20, 2010 at 2:28 am - Reply

    No not Floyd. Riis doesn't need Floyd when he can sign. . .Danilo!!! DiLuca would look good in saxo black. Danny has a Ferrari and I think Floyd just has an old Jeep CJ-7(and its leaking oil) Why the Mad Mennonite when you can have The Killer!

    • walshworld October 20, 2010 at 3:16 am - Reply

      I forgot the Killer because misguidedly I just feel like he should still be on suspension when CONI let him off easy. I still go with Floyd — it's a better story.

  3. Alex Churchill October 20, 2010 at 3:22 am - Reply

    Please god, make this happen. The next chapter in this story – were it to be written – would be the most interesting. What would the UCI and the ASO say about an admitted, genuinely chastened and almost assuredly clean, doper coming back? Would they let him come back? What would the rest of the pro peleton think. I'm assuming there would be no help from Radio Shack.

  4. RideLikeaGirl1 October 20, 2010 at 3:31 am - Reply

    Great idea, if nothing Saxobank gets plenty of press visibility with Floyd, which is what they really care about.

    How about trying to bring on Floyd, Rasmussen and Kohl for a combined price of a fraction of Contador's salary?

  5. Sticky October 20, 2010 at 8:39 am - Reply

    I'd be over the moon to see something like this happen for Floyd. I have to say that it is incredibly refreshing to see that somebody finally took the high road and wrote something really positive (and TRUE) about Floyd. I get so weary of seeing the words "Disgraced cyclist" in front of his name, that I could just cry. Floyd is telling the truth, and the only people who have ANY right to judge him are those people who have NEVER told a lie. I don't know any…

    What is disgraceful is that a talented rider and good person like Floyd reached the pinnacle of his beloved sport only to find that doping was the thing to do if you wanted to win at that level, and to be forced to make the decision to do it or not. Young riders should be thanking him as opposed to bitching about him because he broke some stupid code. Hopefully, as a result of his actions, they won't be faced with the decision.

    Ride on Floyd!!

    • walshworld October 21, 2010 at 8:27 am - Reply

      STicky, thanks for the note. It is a shame that Floyd isn't back out there. He was the next Armstrong and I believe he had one or two more TDF wins in him. He wasn't near as lucky as Lance and eventually he had to tell the truth. Which sadly, most people do not wish to hear. Thanks for writing. Matt

      • sticky October 21, 2010 at 12:55 pm

        And thank you for writing that post. I am utterly amazed at the viciousness of people who still seem to feel that Floyd should be tarred and feathered after considering all that has transpired. Pathetic that people are so quick to judge and so reluctant to imagine walking a mile in Floyd's shoes.

        It is what it is–he decided to stop lying to himself and he decided to stop lying for Lance & Co, knowing full well what the consequences would be. In my mind, not one of his critics would EVER have the balls or courage to do what he did. Not one.

        Keep writing, Matt.

  6. August October 20, 2010 at 9:39 am - Reply

    Well, signing landis is one way to make the entire peleton hate your team. Here's a word of advise for Riis, don't even consider it, its a horrible idea.

    • walshworld October 21, 2010 at 8:25 am - Reply

      August, well, some people do not like Floyd but most of them are American riders and half of them are either retired or close to it. It the peloton is fine with Ricco and Vino, then FLoyd should be fine. Matt

  7. leif October 20, 2010 at 11:57 pm - Reply

    That would be a good commando fit.

    Probably better than Floyd publishing his second book…Lance Armstrong's Mad Libs.

    • walshworld October 21, 2010 at 8:23 am - Reply

      Ha, a good book idea but will they sahre the profits?

  8. Mick October 21, 2010 at 11:18 am - Reply

    Brilliant, love it make it happen…

    It seems to me it will only piss off a bunch of delusional (typically) American pseudo cycling fans

  9. Mick October 21, 2010 at 7:15 pm - Reply

    Brilliant, love it make it happen…
    It seems to me it will only piss off a bunch of delusional (typically) American psuedo cycling fans

  10. james October 22, 2010 at 10:38 am - Reply

    I quote Beavis and Butthead:

    'I didn't think something could kick this much @$$.'

    • walshworld October 22, 2010 at 12:42 pm - Reply

      Yo, Beavis, we ain't even got started wid this shit. Matt

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