Doping news hounds already know that Federal investigators, aka the men you don’t lie to, have questioned the people at Nike and Trek about the Landis drug allegations.
What people don’t know, because Nike and Trek officials are sworn to silence, is the exact nature of those questions.
Well, we at Twisted Spoke know word for word what hard-hitting queries they’re firing about Armstrong and doping. How? Because we have a trained mole, that’s how.
1 Is the Trek Madrone better than a top of the line Specialized race bike.
2 Do you offer discounts to investigators who work for the federal government?
3 Do you have any Lance Armstrong memorabilia to donate for our Agents Only Labor Day party?
4 Those Nike cycling shoes — how come they’re always so ugly — why can’t you style them up like the Sidis?
5 Can you make us some cool “FED” technical wear? The FBI stuff rocks but our gear is lame.
6 Do you offer volume discounts if we wanna buy some cycling gear?
7 What’s your opinion on Anna Hansen compared to Kristen and Sheryl Crow — is Anna hot?
8 Explain how this works again — the EPO is hidden in the top tube with a little sippy valve? And where’s the battery for the motor go?
9 Why is Greg Lemond always so crabby?
10 How do we get to Oakley from here? We really want to score some of those $300 shades.