Workin' for the Man. Livestrong now hiring writers.

Will I pass the test as a Livestrong writer? Not likely.

Meet my new boss, the boss, Lance Armstrong. Well maybe.

Count me among the, what, suspected legions of Armstrong tweet followers who responded to his job posting. Livestrong is looking for writers who are experts in the fields of health, fitness, sports, senior care, diet and nutrition. Look at me write, right now, it’s like instant proof.

Is Twisted Spoke not a serious and irreverent writer in the athletic domain of cycling, a sport in any definition of the word? In fact, in the eyes of the boss, my future boss, it is THE sport. I’m already half way in and I could bring over some of my people.

Plus, I’m 52 and have an AARP card so I’m right in the senior care demo despite my deceptively youthful appearance and excellent health. And there is nothing in our Norcal fridge that isn’t certified organic, so I’ve also got diet and nutrition covered. I’m off to a good start and that probably puts me mid pack in what is likely 100,000 resumes.

Still, I can dream. A bi-weekly paycheck for all approved articles! And I’ll “receive exposure on one of the web’s top health destination sites.” All the yellow livestrong wrist bands I can fit on my arms and initiation into the World of Lancedom. As a fall back position I’ve also applied to work for Johan Bruyneel’s sports marketing company. I got my fingers crossed but I’m keeping my day blog.

You know Armstrong will run for president someday. This could be a ground floor opportunity. This year I could be writing about fitness and in another four years I could be Lance’s personal speech writer. “A yellow jersey in the White House” would be my campaign slogan.

That’s how it goes with my future boss, Lance. Loyalty is everything and once you’re in, you’re in all the way. Trusted circle, part of the team, running flack, getting crap done, moving mountains, killing cancer, destroying Alberto, tweeking the planet’s orbit. You work with Lance, you’re in The Show.

I’m hoping the HR person on this candidate search just happens to be a Twisted Spoke reader. It’s really my only hope of rising to the top.

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  • http://www.mauricio-soler.com J-DOG

    “senior care” – lmao
    re: “keeping my day blog”
    Hey – don’t forget about us little people when you’re soaring above us in the yellow-and-grey Livestrong Leer jet as his personal ego masseuse, okay?