Vinokourov taking non-apology lessons in TDF preparation.

Sorry? No, not really.

Alexander Vinokourov said he might, capitalize the MIGHT, apologize to the Tour de France officials for his blood doping in 2007 if it helps ensure that he gains entry to the race this year.

This reminds Twisted Spoke of parenting small children. When the bratty son whacks his sister, you tell the son to apologize. He does because he has to; he doesn’t mean it, he’s not sorry, doesn’t feel the slightest remorse. In fact, when dad leaves, the son is gonna whack his sister again.

Vino is that bully kid from Kazakhstan. He’s done nothing wrong, there’s nothing to repent, but if you insist, he’ll apologize. No sincerity there, nothing genuine. But if he has to say those words in a toneless, couldn’t-care-less way, he will.

It will be interesting to see Vinokourov deliver his fake apology later in the year. And even more revealing to see what Tour de France daddy Christian Prudhomme has to say in response. Personally, we wouldn’t mind having Vino is the race for the simple reason that we like hotheads, bad guys and junk yard dogs. Keeps the story-lines sizzling and every journalist needs a punching bag.

The fake apology is sometimes called the non- apology apology — here’s the wonderful wiki definition: A form of apology that is nothing of the sort, a common gambit in politics and public relations. It most commonly entails the speaker saying that he or she is sorry not for a behavior, statement or misdeed, but rather is sorry only because a person who has been aggrieved is requesting the apology or threatening some form of retribution.” Like no start in Rotterdam, for example.

The non-apology is closely related to the equally clever non-denial denial popularized during the Watergate scandal. You can only imagine how apologetic Vino could get after he puts his own Kafka-meets-Kazakhstan spin on things.

But the French do not take kindly to someone besmirching their national sports monument. Zay do not like zee stinky brown crap on zee yellow jersey.

We’re thinking that Vino will be totalement invisible in France come July. Because even if he does offer some form of fake apology or denial (in his best fake French accent) everyone will still know it doesn’t mean a thing.

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