The Giro versus Tour de France debate: The Yolanthe effect.

Can I take this? It belongs in my bedroom.

Mountains are just mountains.

They are pointy, majestic and steep and you will find them in Italy and France. A time trial is a clock going tick, tick, tick and it is the same tick in Rome and Paris. The Giro and Tour de France may be compared, contrasted, debated and disputed.

Twisted Spoke has made an exhaustive study of both routes, the individual stages, elevation gains, transfers, cobbles, weather conditions and relevant historical data for both the Giro and Le Tour. The true difference is this:

Giro suit

The Giro has Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen and Le Tour doesn’t.

A shameful oversight on Monsieur Prudhomme’s part. He is fast losing the hot podium girl war to the Italians and Spanish and that is inexcusable. Did France not invent the sexy girl? Are they just laying down without a fight and super-models?

Yolanthe is a 24 year old actress model who helped “present” the route at the 2010 Giro presentation. All that pointing to maps with squiggly lines and red marks was hard but she’s a trained professional.

Born in Ibiza but raised in the Netherlands, the Dutch have voted her FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World twice with absolutely no call for a recount. Her hobby is listed a fish-eating. Strange but why argue?

She dates a Real Madrid soccer star Wesley Sneijder– the Vuelta could have had her! But instead ladies man and Giro boss Angelo Zomegnan grabbed her. Crazy Z was quoted as saying, ” I will not miss Armstrong, I gladly trade the annoying Texan for Yolanthe.”

Yolanthe accomplished the difficult task of making the normally stone faced Denis Menchov smile. Little Prince Damiano Cunego kept asking to sit in her shimmering gold lap — which she refused since he was 2 inches shorter than her.

Other Giro suit

“It gives me a great opportunity to be introduced to Italy, ” she said.  “This event has always be a great inspiration for a me. And, now I will be part of it and that’s a great honor for me.” Nice pr work there, Yolanthe.

So the final score reads: Giro, Yolanthe, Tour de France, zero. There are still eight months to go for Mr. Prudhomme to pull a sexy rabbit out of the chapeau. Too much time spent tweaking the stages in the Alps and not enough time flipping thru French lingerie catalogs and celebrity magazines.

Yolanthe Cabau is just another wake-up call. The Giro plays hardball and the honor of France and le Tour are at stake.

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