Sour milk in Rotterdam. Tour de France gets dairy side-show.

Bad Mennonite Milk from Nettherlands? Wierd.

First tour story: sour milk.

We’re in the Netherlands, Le Pays Bas, the low country and launch point for the 2010 Tour de France. Maybe just the place to sink low with further Floyd Landis doping allegations. Sea level with sour dairy product.

The Wall Street Journal, which ironically has become Landis’ confessional booth of choice, printed new allegations in the Saturday edition, timed perfectly before the time trial prologue. You see, Floyd may not be riding but he still has an innate sense of how to dose his allegations against the clock.

The biggest bomb may be that Landis is no longer the crazed wolf braying in the wilderness. According to the WSJ, three former U.S. Postal riders had said in interviews that doping had occurred in the team during Armstrong’s tenure as king of the tour. Collaboration is a beautiful thing when stepping into a courtroom with the other side swinging large bats.

Lance Armstrong’s response was to call Landis “a person with zero credibility and an established pattern of recanting tomorrow what he swears to today.”  Then he went into the dairy metaphor with a vengeance. “Landis’ credibility is like “a cartoon of sour milk: once you take the first sip, you don’t have to drink the rest to know it has all gone bad,” said Armstrong.

Proof you should always stick with beer and in particular Michelob Ultra, Lance’s lifestyle sud of choice. Micro-brews are for little people who don’t win the tour seven times.

Finally, Armstrong used his most powerful weapon against all doping allegations, the one that instantly galvanizes the Livestrong army and everyone who hates cancer. “I have too much work to do during this, my final Tour, and then after my retirement in my continued fight against cancer, to add any attention to this predictable pre-tour sensationalism,” said Armstrong. What chance does sour milk have against that superpower?

Last year, it was the Lance & Alberto show. This Tour, it’s the Lance & Landis show. Now playing in Rotterdam but soon to be everywhere in France.

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