Riis signs up second bank sponsor. Mad money flows.

 

Bjarne Riis doubles down.

 

Double your money, double your pleasure.

Saxo Bank team manager Bjarne Riis announced today that he had found a second bank to co-sponsor his squad. The Russian Tinkoff Bank will sign on the the rest of this season and throughout 2013.

Riis explained that having two bank sponsors will allow him to rebuild his team into a powerhouse squad. “Essentially, we have one bank devoted to Alberto Contador,” said Riis. “He is the best stage racer in the world and does not come cheap. So we one bank to take care of him and a second bank to fund all the new acquisitions.”

The new financial arrangement is believed to be a first in the sport of professional cycling. “Alberto has his own bank card with Saxo. He can withdrawn whatever money he needs and whatever sums,” said Riis. “Then we have Tinkoff to sign riders like Fuglsang and others. This makes the accounting procedures very simple.”

With two banks now on board, Riis was understandably thrilled. “For me of course it’s a fantastic day, a beautiful day for me and for the team, that so close to the Tour de France we are able to announce that we are going forward for next year,” said Riis. “Banks have money, lots of money, so when you have two banks there is no limit to what you can buy.”

For Riis, the two bank sponsors represent his best chance to compete with the Superteam budgets of Sky and BMC Racing. “Now, I can say, whoo-hoo, money no object and overpay for riders like Andy Rhys. I don’t have to bargain shop, you know. I can splurge, get a little crazy,” said Riis.

The Saxo-Tinkoff financial deal already has Riis thinking big again. “What about Nibali? I don’t care what Astana offered him. I have more banks than they have,” said Riis. “The last two years have been depressing. I had to sign second rate riders but now I have blank checks. I can have Cancellara back with the snap of my fingers. It’s going to be fun, I assure you.

According to at least one team source, Riis has already placed an order for a new team bus, Porsche Cayenne team cars and a private jet.

 

 

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4 Responses to “Riis signs up second bank sponsor. Mad money flows.”

  1. If you say “Saxo-Tinkoff” quickly, you get what this deal really is: “Stinkoff.”

  2. Money talks-Bullshit walks! looks like RadioTrash-Trick Bikes Team will be the loosers. Bruyneel walks the bullshit stops! Cancellara, Fulsang, maybe Schleck all will walk end of story!

    • Hector, it’s going to be a great off-season story — what happens to RNT. If Bruyneel leaves, then perhaps the Schlecks stay. Really hard to predict. Matt