The CIRC report: a reading plan for Fabian Cancellara.

Cancellara. Book fiend?

Cancellara. Book fiend?

We have a plan for Trek Captain and Classics superstar Fabian Cancellara. No, not a training plan — he’s got plenty of those, that’s all good. Our goal is to provide him with a reading plan.

You see, Cancellara admitted today that he had no plans to read the landmark CIRC report into pro cycling’s recent dark doping past. He just can’t fight his way through all 228 pages. It’s too thick, too dense with meaning and implication, it’s like Moby Dick only with syringes and blood bags.

Cancellara said he might not ever have time to wade through this definitive work of doping history — even in the off-season. The man is close to retirement, he’s totally focused on Flanders and Paris-Roubaix. We simply can’t expect a true gladiator to cuddle up with a good but time-consuming read. He needs to relax, recover, unwind and 228 pages just says headache and a late night.

Fabian put is this way: “I haven’t had time to read it. Maybe I can look at the 200 pages at the end of the season, I haven’t had time yet.”

What’s worse, and perhaps unforgivable, is that there are no cliff notes for CIRC, no quick summation of the high points for those who can’t devoted the time for a full read. For 3 million price tag, you’d think they would have put out a short version for people with short attention spans. And sadly, another critical oversight, no pictures.

 

Who expects a professional athlete to read 228 pages, all in a row, consecutively, without a few photos to break up the tedious enumeration of pro cycling’s faults, corruption, lies and general bullshit? Again, no top college educator would force a student to deal with this kind of low engagement material without some cool interactive experiences. But we digress ….

That’s why we’ve created a sensible reading plan for Spartacus. After all, captains not only lead by example but also read by example. If Fabian Cancellara is a respected leader in the peloton then he has to have at least a passing understanding of the state of the sport 2015.

First, let’s define the finish date and then we’ll work backwards with a concrete, step=by-step program to get Cancellara through this difficult material. We’re setting a date of April 3rd — that’s two days before the Tour of Flanders. Why, you ask? That’s right before the the real cobblestone action kicks off and there will be thousand of journalists all gathered, posing the question, “Hey Fabian, what do you think of the CIRC report? Have you read it?”

“Hell yeah” will be the appropriate answer.

Now that gives us — that is to say Fabian — exactly 24 days to read this sucker. From here it’s just simple division and a bit of willpower. All Cancellara has to read is a mere ten pages a day and before he takes the startling at Flanders he will be 100% in the know. In fact, the precise number is 9.5 pages a day? He could read that while getting a massage!!! Even if he misses a day or two, he can “cram” in 20 pages. This is a piece of cake and the short number of pages gives him extra time to really ponder the implications, dig into the material, have a point of view, a Cancellara perspective.

 

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