Rasmussen’s Christina Watches roster. A first peek.

Will Rubberboy ride for Rasmussen?

Crazy Dane Michael Rasmussen told the cycling world he has the resumes of 50 riders itching to join him in his new Christian Watches team.

No names were mentioned but Twisted Spoke has actually seen the list. As Rasmussen himself admits, it’s an eclectic mix of talents but one he believes could give him the support he needs to reach the top of the sport again.

Although sworn to secrecy, here’s what we can tell you about who some of those 50 riders are.

All riders from the failed Pegasus project.

2 ex-sailors from the Croatian Navy who swear they’re in “great shape.”

A gimp

A bike riding circus monkey

3 Chinese designers who think this is a Watch company, not a cycling team.

Vladislav Ketov, a Russian man who cycled around the world.

Aaron Stannage, who set the record for the longest bike wheelie (13 kilometers)

A blind cyclist man with a seeing-eye dog

World famous contortionist Daniel Browning Smith, nicknamed Rubberboy. “The team needs riders who are flexible, as we don’t know our race schedule as yet,” says Rasmussen.

Soccer player Oscar Pereiero. “The soccer is just a whim. He won the Tour and I don’t think he is finished yet. We are in discussions with his agent,” said Rasmussen.

Danish Actor Mads Mikkelsen, who is interested in a new challenge.

John Howard, who set a bicycle speed record of 152 miles per hour. According to Rasmussen, Howard could be a huge weapon. “He’s faster than Cavendish, I assure you,” said the Dane.

Retired Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz. The winner of seven gold medals at the ’72 Olympics is still in awesome shape and ready to trade water for asphalt.

A kid who can juggle four balls while riding a bike backwards.

Champion, the animated Tour de France rider from the film The Triplets of Belleville.

A rapper who falls off his bike.

Major Taylor. Rasmussen added Taylor’s name not fully understanding that the famous black American cyclist died in 1932.

Dennis Christopher. The actor who played Dave in the seminal biking racing movie Breaking Away is 55 but still in exceptional shape according to Rasmussen.

Joe Parkin. The author of A Dog In A Hat, his chronicle of bike racing in Belgium and now editor of Bike Magazine is ready to jump, given the chance. “If that guy João Correi can quit his publishing job to ride for Cervelo last year, I can do the same,” says an enthusiastic Parkin.

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  • http://abrtcycling.com/ Alexander Meller

    All in good fun, but actually John Howard can still ride (and race) a bike very well. Check results for the Tour de Tucson…. And hey, I may be 52 and just a cat 3, but add me to the Chicken's list, making it 51.

    • http://www.atwistedspoke.com TwistedSpoke

      Alex, consider yourself on the list. Rasmussen will consider anyone with two legs and knowledge of two words of Danish. Matt

  • rides for beer

    Can you say: "Rock Racing Reinvented", real fast 10 times!?

    • http://www.atwistedspoke.com TwistedSpoke

      John, that's funny and you are right. Too bad Michael Ball doesn't have any money to throw into the Christina team. After all, diamonds on watches are just small shiny rocks, right?

  • Pingback: Pegasus grounded, near death. | Twisted Spoke

  • Tobias

    Why not support the team with the great Christina Watch! With the profile of his greatest stage victory in 2007 engraved!
    http://www.christinadesignlondon.com/christina-wa

    I soooo want one. I wonder if Hembo ever sells even one, or if she gives all of them away to the riders after the team doesnt get a licence

    • http://www.atwistedspoke.com TwistedSpoke

      Good idea, Tobias. It's the perfect going away gift. Matt