Pink cobbles in Arenberg? Paris Hilton rumors gather strength.

Arenberg Forest Pink?

It’s the fantastic and bizarre rumor that wont go away and gathers momentum and validity with each passing day. Is Paris Hilton really planning to ride in the Hell of the North, the monumental one day classic, Paris-Roubaix?

The trajectory is obvious for anyone who cares to follow. First, the vapid vixen is caught buying a cruiser bike. Then the late night calls to George Hincapie for training tips and Roubaix intel, the flight to the Boulder Performance lab for lactate and VO2 max testing, the promise from Armstrong super coach CHris Carmichael to devise a crash course training plan.

Yes, Paris Hilton is going to Paris Roubaix. The story gathered force with the speed and velocity of a Kansas tornado ripping across the plains. Suddenly Race Face had custom built a pink crank-set for the fabulously rich and spoiled heiress. Then high end cycling shoe manufacturer Bonte announces a special, one of a kind, pink shoes. What sounded like a bad Hollywood reality show became a startling reality.

A week later celebrity photographers shot her in the gym, looking lean, ripped and toned. The young party girl wanted the ultimate physical and mental challenge and she was pushing herself to the limit. When Paris Roubaix officials were asked point blank whether she had petitioned them for a one time exemption to ride, they refused comment. A revealing answer in and of itself.

Paris wants the cobbles, she dream of cobbles, each night she plays in her head the only movie she cares enough to watch: Paris Hilton riding Paris ROubaix. And now comes the astonishing news that ASO, the company behind Paris-ROubaix, is considering painting a section of the Arenberg Forest cobblestones pink to honor the sassy and sexy competitor from Hollywood, the Hell of the South.

Asked for comment, all Paris would reveal was “It’s really exciting, … I’ve been wanting to do this forever, and now it’s finally coming together. I’m so happy.”

Weeks ago this seemed like madness. Today the mind strains to comprehend the impending truth. In the coming week we shall all come to respect the raw ambition and fearless drive of this daring young women. Chapeau, Paris.

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  • I've been watching Paris Hilton's BFF. Where do they find these folks? They're from another planet!

    • Another planet? That's why they're called stars, baby.