No Spanish chicken. Riis rules out Rasmussen for Vuelta.

No Saxo chicken recipe.

Michael Rasmussen will not be riding the Vuelta for Saxo Bank, according to team manager Bjarne Riis. Mostly because the Danish rider is way too fat — just kidding.

There will be one less chicken in Spain in August — which given the chicken population in the region probably won’t be an issue. Not likely there will be any wide spread panic about a chicken shortage. They got plenty of poultry to go around.

Although this isn’t just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill chicken — this is the disgraced Chicken who was on his way to winning the 2007 Tour de France and the award for most emaciated rider. His Rabobank team booted him out of the tour for lying about his whereabouts to anti-doping authorities.

That’s an interesting sidebar when you consider the news this week that Hans-Michael Holczer, the then manager of Gerolsteiner, said his rider Levi Leipheimer was doping during the 2005 Tour de France — but didn’t remove him from the race despite the UCI suggesting that course of action.

In any case, Riis is on record as saying he would consider Rasmussen in the future but the immediate future is not going to happen. “I have just said that it was something I would look at and there was probably nothing odious about it,” said Riis. “That does not mean that he should ride the Vuelta a España and everything for us, or that he absolutely must ride for us.”

Besides. Riis is just too excited about plans for Alberto Contador to waste time dealing with the chicken, no matter how fast said chicken can cross the road and climb the mountains.

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  • Ron

    Didnt I see him in Schindler’s List?

  • Ricola

    Of course he’s not in Schindler’s List, that was wayyy before his time. He’s SKELETOR from He-Man! Skeletor is known for putting out quite a wattage while climbing.

  • Johnny Masury