Lemond dumps on Armstrong again. Juan Pelota coffee “watery crap.”

Lemond: Juan Pelota is a con job.

Greg Lemond announced today that he still doesn’t like Lance Armstrong.

Three time winner Lemond admitted he’s still ticked off that the Texan has four, count ’em, four more Tour de France wins that he does.

Lemond, supposedly under a gag order after his court settlement with Trek and Armstrong, could simply not restrain himself and dumped all over Armstrong once again.

He reiterated for the 1000th time that he dislikes the name Lance and the last name Armstrong. He cringes when he sees the words Boss or Mellow Johnny or even Radio Shack. He went on to state that he refuses to drive through Texas or fly over the Lone Star state on any commercial flights.

In a free-wheeling interview he also revealed that he hates those yellow Livestrong bracelets and refuses to give any money to any cancer fundraising organization associated with Armstrong, preferring to donate to cystic fibrosis out of pure spite.

Lemond also confirmed several specific rumors concerning his attitude toward Armstrong. For example, he firmly believes the apparel sold at the Mellow Johnny store in Austin is “bogus crap.” He singled out the women’s red and pink jersey for poorly seam work and was critical of the Mellow Johnny sizing chart, which he referred to as “wildly off base, just an anatomical disaster.”

Not content to criticize the Armstrong line of apparel, Lemond then launched a vicious attack on the coffee at the Juan Pelota Cafe,  saying the signature Roubaix and Ghisallo blends were “undrinkable and pathetic.”

Visibly angry, Lemond was unsparing in his assessment: “Juan Pelota is classic Lance. He creates these other identities — he’s like a criminal switching names. It’s all a con — we don’t know who he really is,” said Lemond.

He also singled out the Armstrong children for criticism, stating that although he’d never met 11 year old Luke, he was sure that kid was “just like his dad” and cheated in his recent pinewood derby and had downed three Red Bulls in a vain attempt to win a kid’s bike race in a local park.

According to Lemond, the Armstrong girls Grace and Isabelle aren’t even twins. “That’s just another example of how Lance twists the facts. They’re not twins. But he says it and suddenly that’s fact,” said Lemond.

Lemond then ran to his closet and produced a battered Armstrong voodoo doll and began ritualistically stabbing it with large pins.

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  • Jack

    I still love Greg and gringed a little while reading this but….nicely done. That was funny!

  • jorge

    What a great picture.

  • Ricola

    "In a free-wheeling interview he also revealed that he hates those yellow Livestrong bracelets and refuses to give any money to any cancer fundraising organization associated with Armstrong, preferring to donate to cystic fibrosis out of pure spite."

    hahahahh Matt, where do you get the inspiration man, hahaha! Have a good weekend!

    • Where did I get the idea. Damn, I'm not sure. Lefevere always cracks me up with his red-faced huffing and puffing, in this case about mechanical doping. Then I imagined Bjarne Riis getting really annoyed with all this nonsense.

  • Ron

    I'm beginning to hate those bracelets too…but I'm just pissed off I didnt come up with the idea! Concerning the pic of Lemond, this is probably the same expression he had as a kid when his uncle gave asked him if he likes ponies.

  • Ron

    I’m beginning to hate those bracelets too…but I’m just pissed off I didnt come up with the idea!

  • @Ron – No need for the ponies comment, I thought that was entirely uncalled-for, attempting to make light of something which likely traumatised him and scarred him.

    Re. this article, a tad harsh – I can see where GL is coming from: put yourself in his place…

    LA tells you that he had indeed been on a programme involving EPO in a 'phone call. Subsequently he becomes very successful in cycling and as an "A-Lister", then he screws you over in your bike business, and puts pressure on others to give you a hard time.

    Finally, he denies everything and expresses doubts about your state of mind.

    What would you do? Keep schtum and shrug? (is that not what we know as omertà?)

  • Lemond is a tool. When I rode for Autotrader.com and attended the Hall of Fame induction for my manager, Greg tried to hit up our souigner in the bar later on.
    I think Greg may have a thing for Lance…thou dost protest waaaaaaaaaaay too much.

  • cyclingfan

    We'll see who the tool is once the investigation is finished.

    • No Cyc, we probably won’t. It’s an “investigation” not justice. He, with the most cash and best attorneys, wins.

  • Mike

    Lemond is a jealous twit, he's not even a pimple on Lances butt
    1

    • Mike, my question concerns your detailed knowledge of the pimples on Lance's butt and how you came by such knowledge. Hope to talk to Lemond this week for a story on the first great carbon bike in the Tour de France. I've heard he's a pretty friendly down to earth guy. I'll let you know. Matt

  • trout

    Hee hee hee …. Greg was right