Italian Federation issues new restrictions concerning Dr. Ferrari.

 

Ferrari subject to tighter restrictions.

In response to numerous high profile stories concerning riders linked to banned sports doctor Michele Ferrari, the Italian Cycling Federation has issued six new restrictions and clarifications.

The Federation had banned Dr. Ferrari for life back in 2002 and announced they would issue up to a six month ban to any rider caught working with him. However, recent news stories allege that Filippo Pozzato,  Giovanni Visconti, Leonardo Bertagnolli and Michele Scarponi may all have engaged the services of the notorious Ferrari

Pozzato has already been questioned by the Italian Olympic Committee (CONI) about his contacts with Ferrari. Next up for interrogation are  Visconti, Bertagnolli and Scarponi, scheduled for Wednesday at 11 am, 12 pm and 1 pm respectively.

In response to these allegations and the surrounding media furor, the Italian Federation today published a detailed set of restrictions regarding Ferrari so that riders have a clearer understanding of what “working with Ferrari” means in full.

1:    All communication with Ferrari is strictly forbidden. It shall be understood that no verbal communication is allowed, no cell phone calls, no teleconferencing, no hand signals, carrier pigeons, no interpretive hand gestures or body language or silent mouthing of words.

2:    Riders are not allowed within 200 meters of Ferrari. This space shall be inscribed as the No-Ferrari Zone. In addition, riders are warned that walking past Ferrari’s house, apartment, car, vacation rental or tent shall constitute a breach of rules.

3:    There will be zero contact with any members of Ferrari’s family or co-workers. Dr. Ferrari’s children, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, former class-mates, research colleagues and neighbors. This shall rule shall extend to Ferrari’s local butcher and baker, coffee shop acquaintances, personal tailor, shoe repair man and housecleaner.

4:   Utterance of the name Ferrari itself will no longer be permissible. Any references to the Ferrari automobile must be replaced by the phrase “expensive red Italian sports car.”

5:    Riders should be cognizant that any air travel over property owned, rented or leased by Dr. Ferrari is subject to close scrutiny and immediate sanction. An altitude of 20,000 meters must be maintained and any flight plan that comes within 20 kilometers of Ferrari must be approved first by the Federation.

6:    Should accidentally contact with Ferrari occur, riders should avert their eyes, keep both hands in their pockets and immediately move in the opposite direction. Failure to take quick evasive action will be severely punished.

 

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/keith.dickinson1 Keith Dickinson

    Addendum: Use of Maserati’s or Lamborghini’s is permitted as long as the rider does not perform the Boonen crash test move.

    • http://www.atwistedspoke.com walshworld

      Keith, thanks for the precision — I will forward to Italian Federation. Matt

  • Jaques LeFrogge

    He, who’s name shall not be spoken aloud …

    • http://www.atwistedspoke.com walshworld

      Yes, the evil one. He really is the devil. Matt

  • http://twitter.com/PiesG David Gardiner

    Simple answer: he should change his name to Macbeth