Hugo’s Magic Pump. The greatest cycling movie you’ve never seen.

Like Breaking Away without clothes.

It’s the greatest biking movie you’ve never seen — not that there are many to begin with.

A cheesy Italian soft porn comedy from the 70’s called Hugo’s Magic Pump. Little is known about this under-appreciated classic and a deep dive into Google yields little in the way of information.

All we’ve uncovered is this tantalizing video box copy: “Hugo is the winningest 6 day racer in Italy, beating everyone, including the Mafia’s ‘Fixed’ riders. To stop losing gambling monies, the Mafia decides to wear Hugo down by throwing beautiful women at him, hoping to reduce his endurance and stamina.”

Wow, that sounds like the one strategy Lance Armstrong hasn’t considered when he brainstorms ways to beat Alberto Contador. Is this a Spanish sequel — El Pistelero’s Magic Pump? The secret story of the Astana sex machine. Maybe … not.

We’re imagining a bonehead guy with frizzy hair and a dozen silly Latin nymphomaniacs who get excited about genuine Campagnolo drive trains. But hey, that doesn’t mean we’re not titillated anyway. Besides it actually made the top nine bike flicks.

There’s something charming and innocent about 70’s porn. It doesn’t take itself so seriously and stays away from the clinical close-ups. Apparently, it is possible to download this cinematic gem at nowtorrents.

Personally, we never thought that highly of Breaking Away. Hugo’s Magic Pump sounds like the cycling version of Deep Throat.

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