Cycling rain gear for women. Where’s the naughty?

Madame Pe. No, this isn't working.

The subject matter had potential for style and beauty and undeniable titillation. Sadly the execution was horribly flawed.

When we saw the new cycling rain gear for women from a company in Holland called Madame de Pé, our reaction was mostly sorrow. This was a colossal failure and worse, a missed opportunity to bring erotic rubber couture to women biking in the rain.

Kitty ready.

Their website asks the obvious question “Who says a rain poncho has to look ridiculous?” But that’s precisely the word for this rain collection.

While insisting their rains capes flatter the feminine figure, it’s truly a sodden and uninspired attempt. Beige? Beige is another word for death.

We’re forced to ask the fundamental query: where is the fetish gear, the rubber, the PVC, where is the naughtiness factor?

Everybody knows what a crazy, illicit sex and drug haven Amsterdam is so why the prudish, mediocre rain gear?

Maybe the folks at Madame Pé need to spend some quality time with Latex Kitty. Now here’s a women who puts it all together: provocative and strangely erotic rainwear that is bike-ready and randy. We applaud her efforts to bring the best of fetish and bondage-wear to the public. Lycra and latex were made for each other.

Wading, biking, same thing.

It rains in Belgium, it rains plenty and we expect far more from these low-landers when it comes to high fashion and female cyclists. Surely, there’s room for more self-expression.

Kitty knows there’s something tremendously erotic about being out in the rain with some top-rate foul weather gear. She’s excited, maybe even too excited but enthusiasm goes a long way. Sex is in the eye of the beholder with an umbrella.

There’s a beautiful, anti-sexy sexiness about the Dutch bike and make no mistake, Kitty has tapped into something profound and primal with her rubber boots, fishing waders, PVC rain capes and see-thru plastic jackets. Madame Pe, are you paying attention here?

For the moment. Latex Kitty is content to wander around walking in the rain, sans bicycle, in a high state of arousal and secret gratification. But soon, she’s bound to turn her attention and fetish focus to riding in the rain. There’s no telling what creative deluge will occur but we’ll all be grateful.

The bike awaits.

Remember, the bike can easily be seen  as a machine of bondage, of pain and suffering, tightly clipped into our pedals, chained to our servitude on the hard, black road.

Indeed, the Dutch bike and the Dutch bondage are intimately related. Even big George Hincapie probably gets the essential link between compression wear and tightly laced corsets.

Call us naive and shameful visionaries but someday soon, the dark clouds will come, the sky will open up and a hard rain will fall and women will race for their bicycles. It’s going to be terribly exciting.

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