Cavendish in Africa? Comedy ensues.

 

 

Cav. No longer top sprinter banana

Cav. No longer top sprinter banana

First reaction: who’s the clown in the MTN Qhubeka jersey with the witless joke?

Really, truly, supposedly?

Word on the internet from sources with no grip on reality or agent with desire to pump up market value or just plain desperate act have Mark Cavendish going to MTN-Qhubeka along with faithful lap dog lead-out man Mark Renshaw.

Is this some kind of Key & Peele skit? Is someone taking fantasy-enhancing drugs?

If Mark Cavendish is actually considering a move to the smaller budget, missing title sponsor, nobody else named yet South African squad, then the only message you can take away is this: Mark Cavendish, Career done.

The Manxman, the guy with something like 24 Tour de France stage wins, can’t score a decent contact with a WorldTour team and now he’s off to Africa on safari. Retirement with animal skins. Fine, get yourself a lion skin but don’t act like that insensitive dentist.

We don’t even know where to begin with this comedy sketch.

Now we’re actually waiting for the sad quote where Mark says he wants to be a mentor to some young sprinter. Cav, mentor? Has the fire gone out? Will little Delilah be well and truly let down? “Daddy has dropped down to Pro Continental honey but he’ll still have a paycheck and he’s still fast, honey, really.”

Heartbreaking. Is this really happening or is this just a transfer laugh?

I mean seriously, Qhubeka manager Brian Smith was quoted saying he wanted to reinvent Cav. That sounds like phase 2, no longer fast, have to figure something else out. Cav the Slow, Cav the Formerly Fast.

Will Cav bring Specialized or his other personal sponsors along with the hope that a new pedal or helmet or pair of shoes will beat Andre Greipel or Marcel Kittel?

The mind reels.

This feels like one step from old folks home. Is George Hincapie already preparing a going away speech for his old HTC teammate? Is future Africa teammate and former rival sprinter Tyler Farrar going to teach Cav Buddhist philosophy so he can learn to deal with the concept of impermanence?

In other words, the Dharma of slowing down?

Well, life does move on but this feels like a grandstand move by Cav’s agent in a misguided attempt to squeeze one last big pay day out of another WorldTour team. MTN just lost MTN which on simple arithmetic means way less cash.

No Cav Budget.

Another sign that pro cycling is anything but pro when big stars have to play sad games to get paid. Mark Cavendish is the Pistachio King, for godsakes, where is the respect?  I repeat at NBA volume, where the the fuckin’ RESPECT?

Man won stages, dawg. Ask Paul and Phil. Cav is an animal.

Well, that was act one in the comedy but we’re waiting for the next punchline. Etixx-Quickstep team manager Patrick Lefevere is always good for a blunt, insensitive sound bit.

What’s the Belgian’s take on the rumors from Africa?

 

 

 

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