Armstrong forgets one word in Boogerd tweet.

Lance forgets stinky

Lance forgets stinky

Lance Armstrong tweeted a two word opinion of the UCI’s short and retroactive ban on retired Dutch rider Michael Boogerd: “pure bullshit.”

The compact two word response was widely reported in the news but now it seems that in his haste to tweet his feelings, the disgraced former seven-time Tour de France champion forgot one word.

According to a source with knowledge of events, Armstrong left out the word “stinky.” The full tweet was supposed to have read “Pure stinky bullshit.”

“Yeah, Lance was in a hurry to get the tweet out and hit the tweet button, leaving out the stinky part,” said Phil Schitz, a mechanic at Armstrong’s Mellow Johnny bike store in Austin, Texas. “We’ve all done it, it happens, but he sure wishes the word stinky was in there.”

The UCI has as yet not responded to Armstrong’s assessment that the legal decision was crap, excrement, feces, shit from a bull. However, news that the word stinky was also meant for the tweet has already generated a swift reaction from the governing body of professional cycling.

“First, this is a legal ruling not bullshit and there is no odor whatsoever,” said Michele Kaka, a legal specialist at the UCI. “An email does not stink. It’s impossible, really. And if we printed the press release on paper, it would not stink either. So to Mr. Armstrong, we say bullshit to his bullshit.”

A publicist for Armstrong laments that the word “stinky” didn’t make the final tweet. “It’s a shame really, because stinky changes the whole context and really dimentionalizes the communication,” said Tina Gonzalez, a consultant at PR firm Daniels & Turdo. “Stinky highlights the olfactory sensation that this bullshit has a really unpleasant odor. Without the word stinky, the statement is more analytical instead of visceral.”

Gonzales also noted that the omission of the word stinky reduced the effectiveness of Armstrong’s tweet to a significant degree. “We’re talking about 33% of Lance’s message gone. That totally diminishes the impact. It’s really a shame because “Pure stinky bullshit” would really have touched a nerve.”

While there is perhaps still time for Armstrong to post a follow-up tweet with the inclusion of the word stinky, that scenario appears unlikely. “It’s social media, man. That’s old news already,” said Schitz. “It’s too late for stinky now.”

 

 

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