Armstrong invites Glasgow to a bike ride. It was "the kipper's knickers."

“Hey Glasgow, Scotland! I’m coming your way,” Lance Armstrong wrote. “Who wants to go for a bike ride?

The seven-time Tour de France winner twittered an invite to join him for a bike ride. Over 200 Glasgowians showed up to ride in the pouring rain.

To put it in the local Glasgow Patter or slang, the experience was “pure dead brilliant” — Outstandingly good. You’d have to be a “nugget” (idiot) to miss such a thing.

That Armstrong is “minted” (amazing and rich) and anyone who stayed home and passed up the opportunity didn’t have a “scooby” (clue). “Bawbags” they were (fools). Taking a spin with the Texan was truly “the berries” (excellent). We was all riding down the road and the cars passing were “pamping” like mad (honking the horn). It was “gallus,” wee man (excellent).

Then, the gentleman in the Livestrong jersey brings them all round to the pub for a few rounds of the “bendy juice (alcoholic beverage) and they got “plootered” (drunk).

Now. that’s a ride, laddies.